Already choking on my pride [OPEN]

[hellshot]

WHO: Reaper hellshot and OPEN
WHERE: Within the Fleet, some automated cafeteria
WHEN: Various times within the month, whenever he needs to eat.
WHAT: Reaper needs nutrients, touchscreens aren't his friend.
WARNINGS: Possible mention of how horridly deformed he is under his mask. It's bad.


[Dark fingernails tap against the metal counter he's currently standing in front of. If he wasn't wearing a mask, it would be easy to see the look of frustration on Reaper's face with his current predicament, so for now, the only way of knowing that the ghost of a man is pissed off is the wisps of black fog escaping from under aforementioned mask.

He hadn't gone on the previous mission with Sombra, and he had no interest in rescue missions, either. Which meant he hadn't seen the field of battle in little over a month--which meant he hadn't been taking in new nutrients from his surroundings to keep his body from decaying to a point of discomfort. Which meant he had to partake in his least favourite of activities: Eating.

Eating was difficult enough when your face was barely suited for it--but when the cafeteria closest to his living quarters was a fully automated one? It was like a really bad joke. Touchscreens worked when pressure was applied with an electrical charge--human skin was a great conductor for said electrical charge. Dead flesh didn't hold any sort of charge. So this was his predicament. He couldn't eat if he couldn't get the damn screen to work.

Frustrated, Reaper finally turns his head to glare at the individual waiting for their turn after him. He hated asking for help, so instead:]

Work this damn thing for me and I'll pay for your food, too.

[He's too tired for this bullshit today.]

Comments

[hellshot]

Not what you were wondering? Well then. [He waves a hand, and Karamatsu won't get the answer he wanted. 'Just want happiness to come to everyone'... what a sappy thing to say. Were he in a better mood, he might even laugh at that. It's optimistic--foolishly so. He wonders how sad a person Karamatsu actually is to say something like that.

Sensing some cover-up to damage here.]

Meat. Steak, maybe a side of eggs or vegetables. Something with proteins in it. [The nanites in his body were buzzing with too much life lately, regenerating and degenerating his cells at an irritating rate without any vegetation to breathe properly around. A pause.]

Why are you so invested in everyone elses' feelings. Yours should come first. [Try being more selfish.]

[glitterpants]

<sub>[ pretty darn sad, but nobody needs to know that, especially if he intends on trying to charm them and fool them into thinking he's a charismatic heart breaker.
Besides, in the back of his mind, he figures nobody would care about his troubles, as minor as they are compared to somebody else. He's learned that nobody cares.

His expression twists, seeming pleased with Reaper's choice. ]</sub>

A wonderful decision! I do believe I will order something similar, but with the addition of bacon and sausage.
<sub>[ He taps away with both of their orders, letting the device process he order before he thinks about Reaper's question. He doesn't take his eyes off of the menu as it continues to do it's thing, his lips forming into a thin line.

His should come first? Since when. Reaper can probably see the appearance of wonder in his eyes even though he isn't looking at his company, but it's obvious he's really registering what was said. He's trying to think of a time where maybe his feelings mattered, but that means sifting through all of the memories where he was mistreated first.

Oh. There it is. It's when he wouldn't leave that fairy woman's side even if she abused him— his family legitimately seemed concerned about his relationship with her. So, he turns to look up at Reaper, another smile on his face. It's hard to tell if it's genuine or not. ]</sub>

When you love others, you put them first. That is what love is.
_{[ this is awkward.... and probably not the message he intended to get across.
isn't that sweet.. he loves you, Reaper. ]}

[hellshot]

[You'd have to find a real good Jack Morrison to find someone who cares. Reaper is no Jack Morrison.

He makes a scoff at Karamatsu's choice--going full breakfast on top of a steak. That's a bit much, even for him--but he said he wouldn't care what the other ordered. So he reserves comments on that for the time being.

What's more important is how long the muppet is taking in responding to him. His gaze flicks down in time to see the look of someone trying to register something strange in their brain, and he almost wants to roll his eyes.

Is this more posturing, or is Karamatsu actually thinking about what he said?

And when he replies, once again--he wants to laugh.]

When you put them first, then you'll get left behind, won't you. [Don't you dare suggest that you love him he will thROW YOU ACROSS THE CAFETERIA.] Unless you enjoy making others feel like they're more than you. Get used to the feeling of boots across your back.

[glitterpants]

<sub>[ He's right, and Karamatsu doesn't want to admit it. A part of him has been teared down, piece by piece, up to the point where maybe he's accepted the fact that being stepped on is just how it's going to be. To have it any other way seems foreign and unattainable, but that little optimistic side of him is what keeps him doing this over and over.

Despite what Reaper offered, Karamatsu goes ahead and pays for both of their meals with what little money he has (it's so weird having a job and money to do stuff like this now.) He stuffs his hands in his pockets once it's over. ]</sub>

I am merely treating others the way I would like to be treated. It is their decision whether they would like to do that or not. Whatever it takes.
_{[ By now, it's obvious Reaper has hit a sore spot. ]}

[hellshot]

[He actually takes a moment to look down at Karamatsu. He's gotten quieter, and it's apparent that either he's made the other uncomfortable by being in close proximity, or...

Yes, it is obvious that he hit some sort of nerve. Look at that, this guy actually had a switch that could be pressed after all. After how quickly the guy bounced back on the network, he was starting to think it wasn,'t possible.]

...And is that why you went ahead and paid for both of us after I'd clearly stated that I was paying. [He won't actually complain, as it was entirely Karamatsu's choice to do something that daft, but.]

Or was it because you were distracted due to the shitty subject I walled you into.

[glitterpants]

_{[ It's a switch that is instant, like flicking light to dark when you leave a room. You just have to find the switch and before you know, his entire demeanor is a lot more melancholic. ]}

Hmph. I know what I just did.
_{[ he rolls up and down on the balls of his feet, not looking up at Reaper. Gee, he's avoided eye contact for awhile now, hasn't he? ]}

Again, I am treating others as I only wish to be treated. But also.. you've offered to help me.
_{[ remember the training lesson? ]}

[hellshot]

[Part of him almost prefers the more melancholic attitude, mostly for his own sake. Dealing with flowery, over-the-top people isn't in his book of talents. Something he really has to get over.

But when Karamatsu brings up Reaper's offer to help him, he's actually somewhat surprised.]

...Ha. So you actually remember that.

Here I'd figured you'd forgotten for convenience, or you weren't actually interested.

[glitterpants]

_{[ I think everyone prefers his melancholic attitude. It's less to take in at one time; it's more genuine to who he actually is. But he doesn't really like who he really is, so why would anyone else? ]}

I don't forget the people who care about me.
<sub>[ Reaper probably wouldn't call it care, but that's the way Karamatsu sees it. This guy wants to train him, to help him, to prevent anything from happening to him.

That's care. ]</sub>

[hellshot]

[Oh, that old feeling of self-loathing--he knows it well enough. But those thoughts aside, his head actually jerks to look down at Karamatsu with an odd, almost confused expression when he speaks again.]

...Presumptuous of you. [Because he doesn't see things the way Karamatsu does, but he can at least see where he'd gotten that conclusion.]

But if that's how you feel, I should make a schedule for you, then.

[glitterpants]

_{[ Karamatsu seems pleased with Reaper's change in conversation to an actual time to train. He wants to learn how to protect others more than actually defend himself, and maybe one day he'll beat the crap out of somebody and like it, but for now.. he just doesn't want to die. ]}

I am seeing Washington early in the morning before I work.. perhaps I can see you in the evening.
_{[ he'll be exhausted, and he might complain and be difficult, but.. NEET life. ]}

[hellshot]

[Washington--another name he recognised.]

Every morning? [An important question.] Washington is a mercenary too. Don't know how good a one, but if you're already working with him, then maybe there's hope for you yet.

[Having two of the most jaded mercs on the Eluvio training with you... Karamatsu, you've got your work cut out for you.]

[glitterpants]

Every morning.. when we both can. I've learned a lot so far.
_{[ His eyebrows lift up slightly at Reaper's remark. Hope for him yet? He'd like that. For most of his adult life he's been a pretty hopeless guy. He cups his chin, one of his smirks appearing. ]}

Hmph. Do you often offer assistance so easily to strangers?
_{[ or is he special? ]}

[hellshot]

You'll have to tell me what Washington is already teaching you. So I can either expand on it, or give you symbiotic lessons.

[Claws on the ends of his glove reach up, and he scratches his neck idly, as if thinking about the others' question.]

...Hah. Not a chance.

I don't know. Maybe I just have a penchant for adopting cases that seem hopeless.

I like the challenge.

[glitterpants]

_{[ claws... how spooky...
anyway.. thy get their food??? however that works.. let the poor dead man eat his food.. ]}

If you say so. It does not matter, I suppose. I am just honored you are willing to assist me.
_{[ He's not denying or confirming Reaper's words, one hand lifting to rake his fingers along the side of his hair. ]}

[hellshot]

[Please let him eat and escape this life.]

'Honoured'.

Save that until you're done with your first day. [You might not be so grateful when you feel dead on your feet.

In any case, he grabs up his tray, the automated machine having finally spitting their order out thank god. He waves a hand as he turns and walks away, not bothering to wait for Karamatsu.]