[Closed]

[yokunaru]

WHO: Yuuri & Viktor
WHERE: Residence Floor
WHEN: Feb. 21
WHAT: Some unpleasant facts are starting to sink in
WARNINGS:Panic attacks, anxiety, mentions of violence


Tension runs through him, has been running through him, since the first body was found a week ago. Though he's led a fairly sheltered life until the anomaly found him, Yuuri isn't exactly a stranger to bad news when reports occasionally filter in through the television, and when so much of media features violence in some shape or form. After Oros, though, something in him had filled with dread, and he'd done what he does best whenever the stress begins to build: withdraw into himself bit by bit. A part of him had known this was all real, even if he'd managed to disengage himself from the situation emotionally. The loss of fellow shipmates, the distress on the faces of those who found them--those were all real. It was simply easier to ignore it all and keep his calm when it was just words.

It isn't so easy to pretend when the evidence is right in front of him, Yuuri realizes all too belatedly. There's a hand being shown vividly on his communicator's screen. It's detached from the rest of the body it belongs to and there's blood on the stump. Fumbling in his urgency, Yuuri only just manages to turn off the device, cutting Jason's voice off, before the nausea and panic hits him hard all at once. Unlike with the announcements that had come before, Yuuri can't even attempt to think himself out of it this time. He barely makes it to the bathroom in time. Even when he's already emptied whatever had been left in his stomach, Yuuri's left dry heaving over the toilet for some time. It takes even longer for him to regain enough sense to shakily clean up after himself and splash some water on his face.

After that, sitting down on the floor with his legs folded up against his chest is the only thing he can mange to do. As he sits there, shivering and miserable, Yuuri loses track of the time.

Comments

[yokunaru]

Briefly, he considers telling Viktor exactly what Jason had done with the severed hand, but decides to simply let the chance pass without further comment. He knows it's an image that he won't be able to forget for a long time as it is, and he'd rather not think about it more if he has a choice. There's something that's holding him back, too: Jason's helped him over the month, spending precious time teaching Yuuri how to defend himself when he didn't have to. It leaves him feeling conflicted, uncertain how to reconcile the person who he considers a friend with the person who had laughed while waving the victim's hand in his head. Later--he'll talk to Viktor later, once he's had a chance to sort out his own confusion.

"Karamatsu and his brother weren't trained to handle them either." Yuuri leans into the touch, closing his eyes as he does so. The slight tremble in his voice doesn't fade just yet. "If these killings continue, there's a chance we might stumble on something we don't want to see, too." Simply knowing that it's a possibility fills him with dread.

[genice]

They're all the details he won't press for, believing it's better if Yuuri decides to provide them on his own. To work through them in whichever way helps Yuuri, since he doesn't know if demanding explanations will do anything to address the images caught in Yuuri's mind.

He murmurs assent to Yuuri's observation. Karamatsu and his brother indeed weren't trained to handle this anymore than they were. Or most the people who came through the anomalies appeared to be. He closes his eyes, knowing he has no ability to say this won't happen. Knowing saying he would prefer they be those discovery versus being discovered won't help anything either, for all it's honest. "That's true," is what he says. "Not just for this, but for any of the things we might run into. I don't think we were better prepared for what we might have run into when on Oros. Or for the aftermath."

[yokunaru]

Yuuri sighs, still keeping his eyes shut. He's calmer now, at least. It's an improvement. Part of him still can't help but feel guilty that Viktor has to do this for him so often, coax him back to a better mindset whenever the anxiety hits him hard like this. Maybe Yuuri hadn't exactly been the best at handling it even back home, but he'd coped for the most part. He hasn't been coping quite as well since he arrived on the Eluvio.

"Do you ever feel like..." Yuuri tilts his head back. "We're really in over our heads here?"

[genice]

He sighs through his nose, eyes half closing. Between himself and his dog, he feels like he's at least surrounded Yuuri with the support that he can provide. Including his heart; including his honesty.

In all things.

"Yes." It's a simple word. A more difficult confession. "I do. All the more reason to keep learning how to swim, in a manner of speaking." Coping isn't a matter of having everything figured out all at once. It's an evolution, an ongoing showing that changes as circumstances change. Viktor pulls Yuuri a little more toward him. barely refraining from lifting man and dog into his lap. "We're getting through this. It's easier than it was when we first arrived, isn't it? Learning how to work on a space ship, making connections with people we'd never have known, me learning anything about sales... you've handled things better than most people would, Yuuri. It's fine to feel overwhelmed now and again. You're not the only one."

A quiet, calm confession. Viktor feels that way too, though how he handles it is different. It always will be. They're very different people in some respects. This happens to be one of them.

"Just remember you're not alone, either. We're here to support you, just like you're here to support us. I..." He pauses, then laughs, a soft sort of noise under his breath. "I wouldn't be doing half as well if I didn't have you by my side."

He knows himself. Knows that by now, with what's gone on, he'd have been sliding into a depressive episode, uncertain of how to shake himself out of it. He would have, for Yurio and Otabek. It just wouldn't have been easy; it would have felt hollow at its heart. Yuuri is the one who gives him a warm core to hold onto.