bodhi rook (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ex_brainstorm70) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
starlogs2017-01-16 10:07 am
ex_brainstorm70) wrote in starlogs2017-01-16 10:07 am
Entry tags:
OPEN.
WHO: Bodhi & various people!
WHERE: All around the place!
WHEN: Some pre- and post- event stuff.
WHAT: Open prompts: Bodhi and food, Bodhi admiring ships. Closed starters: Pre-mission jitters, post-mission reuniting.
WARNINGS: Threads with Jyn/Cassian/K2SO will almost definitely contain spoilers for Rogue One, otherwise I will ask you to opt into spoilers if the thread heads that way.
open prompt: the hangar (pre-event)
Bodhi adjusts his goggles as he peers up at the ship. The fact that the hangar bay he's standing in is vast enough to encompass so many is a wonder in and of itself, but right now his interest is in this ship in particular. It's nothing like the fighters he learned to pilot in the Academy, or the cargo ships he has been flying for half a dozen years or so.
"Sorry," he says reflexively, when he notices someone looking back. "Is she yours? She's beautiful."
open prompt: the market (during event)
It's a couple of days before he ships planetside for the research he volunteered for, and Bodhi is feeling Cassian's absence the most in the lack of his cooking right now (and the sleepy morning warmth, and his ability to coax something like a smile out of Jyn, and his easy encouragement to talk, and and and --)
The market is still a wonder to him. Bodhi had grown up poor, and Jedha didn't have much more to feed its inhabitant than spirituality and sand. As a cargo pilot he'd had more money to buy imported food, but long-haul flights out to distant moons meant he rarely ate fresh, and the Imperial cafeterias were... well, the less said about them the better. So having both the income and availability to have fresh fruit. Well. He reared up a little at his first tomato.
Right now he's bought something already made, though, a luxury of greenery and nuts, and he sits alone and eats it reverently, watching the people passing with bright, intelligent eyes, chin in his hand and elbow on the table, the top of his jumpsuit rolled down to his waist.
WHERE: All around the place!
WHEN: Some pre- and post- event stuff.
WHAT: Open prompts: Bodhi and food, Bodhi admiring ships. Closed starters: Pre-mission jitters, post-mission reuniting.
WARNINGS: Threads with Jyn/Cassian/K2SO will almost definitely contain spoilers for Rogue One, otherwise I will ask you to opt into spoilers if the thread heads that way.
open prompt: the hangar (pre-event)
Bodhi adjusts his goggles as he peers up at the ship. The fact that the hangar bay he's standing in is vast enough to encompass so many is a wonder in and of itself, but right now his interest is in this ship in particular. It's nothing like the fighters he learned to pilot in the Academy, or the cargo ships he has been flying for half a dozen years or so.
"Sorry," he says reflexively, when he notices someone looking back. "Is she yours? She's beautiful."
open prompt: the market (during event)
It's a couple of days before he ships planetside for the research he volunteered for, and Bodhi is feeling Cassian's absence the most in the lack of his cooking right now (and the sleepy morning warmth, and his ability to coax something like a smile out of Jyn, and his easy encouragement to talk, and and and --)
The market is still a wonder to him. Bodhi had grown up poor, and Jedha didn't have much more to feed its inhabitant than spirituality and sand. As a cargo pilot he'd had more money to buy imported food, but long-haul flights out to distant moons meant he rarely ate fresh, and the Imperial cafeterias were... well, the less said about them the better. So having both the income and availability to have fresh fruit. Well. He reared up a little at his first tomato.
Right now he's bought something already made, though, a luxury of greenery and nuts, and he sits alone and eats it reverently, watching the people passing with bright, intelligent eyes, chin in his hand and elbow on the table, the top of his jumpsuit rolled down to his waist.
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I've missed you. [ He squeezes Jyn's hand but reaches for Bodhi's shoulder and squeezes there as well, once they're all within reach. ] You, as a group, in particular, as individuals. This isn't a couple plus one thing.
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she at least has the grace to look away before she struggles to right her own capsized lifeboat, looking up at cassian with apologetic eyes. emotions make her want to run away, as far as she can get, as fast as she can go, but fighting against that instinct means instead that she shifts uncomfortably and holds on to cassian's hand hard enough to hurt. ]
There wasn't time. [ they weren't a thing, they weren't a couple, they weren't in love. but they could have been, given the time. now there is plenty of time, an indefinite, maybe infinite number or years, but they're still not a couple. because there isn't only the two of them. she should say that, but the words dry up on her tongue instead. the emotional capacity of an eggplant. ]
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[ Bodhi points out, unintentionally echoing Jyn's thoughts, though maybe not with quite the same reasoning as her eggplant brain. They're not a couple so this isn't a couple plus one, but they could be, because there's time, if he let them. If he gives them space.
And yet Cassian grips his shoulder and Bodhi doesn't pull away, gives a rueful little smile to no one in particular. ]
I mean, I wouldn't mind.
[ Lies. His brain doesn't conscience them anymore, even little white lies. ]
Or, maybe a bit, but... you two are so good together.
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[ Cassian shakes his head and looks at Jyn. Brings their hands to his lips and kisses the back of hers. ]
I know you hate this. [ Because Cassian is about to talk FEELINGS and Jyn hates being up front about those so much he's worried she's gonna bolt before the conversation is over. ] And I know you want to run but I'm asking you to stay so I'm not just making declarations about what's best for us all and you can stop me if I say something you don't agree with. Just. Hit me or something.
[ Cassian takes a breath and the hand at Bodhi's neck makes it's way to the man's cheek. ]
There's a few ways this could play out, I think. Jyn and I continue the way we are, and you're left alone, and we hate it, and we hate ourselves for it, and each of us ends up drifting towards you again because that isn't what we want, but there's so much guilt and stress about it that we're never happy.
That's not acceptable.
Only being with you when the other isn't around? Also not acceptable. It'll feel like lying, and you'll feel like shit, and what happens when you need someone or you're lonely? Are you going to do this, just...retreat and stand aside? Or you'll find someone, because you deserve happiness, and Jyn will be so thrilled she'll break something, and I'll hate myself for making you have to find someone else to help you be happy when we're right here.
Waiting years to get our shit together isn't acceptable because we don't have the luxury of time like that.
So.
[ Cassian takes a breath. ]
We can do this instead: admit that love moves in more than one unilateral direction, that we're not just two people plus one who sometimes gets left out but it's all three of us, and go from there. Admit that we are...I don't know. A circle with three point instead. An angry squiggly line. Something else that isn't just 'us two' and 'you'.
[ A sigh and he leans into Bodhi, resting his forehead against the other man's before placing a kiss on his lips. Light and gentle and easily pulled away from but there's a point he's trying to make here wihle Jyn is gripping his hand so tightly the pain is radiating up his arm and he's not sure any of it even makes sense outside of his own head. ]
Okay? Can't it just be us? All three of us?
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she can't make him stop talking this time because she won't imply she doesn't agree with him.
so she stays silent, holding cassian's hand hard enough to break it while he tells bodhi everything she should have already said to him when cassian was down on the planet. she doesn't run away even though she wants to do nothing more than be outside of this conversation and get the paraphrased version of it later.
her eyes fly wide when cassian kisses him but instead of feeling jealousy she feels relieved, a pressure lifting from her chest that she didn't realize was there until it dissipated. she's relieved cassian has somewhere to put his affection since she is incapable of returning it, that bodhi has someone who will say everything jyn feels but is unable to verbalize. honestly, she doesn't know what her place in the relationship is or could be, but she's too selfish to question it. ]
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Bodhi's only contribution is to snort a little at the idea of finding someone else — Galen and the Rogue One crew, even the two who aren't here, have all set his standards for other people a little too high for that — but he doesn't otherwise protest. It's hard work to listen instead of talking, filling the space with babble, and he's a little wiggly, fidgeting like a three year old. But Cassian kisses him and he stills. His eyes flutter closed for a moment.
The panic that rises in him then is so absolute that he grabs for Jyn mostly on autopilot, finding her free hand and clutching it until Cassian pulls away. It has nothing to do with the kiss, just — it jumbles him, a little, and his body gets confused and thinks adrenaline is the answer, probably because it was for so long. So he's panting a little more than a kiss so chaste should really warrant when Cassian pulls back. ]
Yes, [ He agrees finally, more unsteady and breathless than he would like. ] Yes, all right.
[ A glance to Jyn. The look he gives her is tentative, hopeful, wanting to know she's in this — maybe even expecting a little more from her than Cassian does. ]
Yes?
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a smile tries to tug at the edge of her mouth but it's faint and ephemeral, even as her head dips in a nod. ]
Yeah. [ as much as she would love to leave it at that, one word answers or silence to say what she wants, jyn knows bodhi isn't cassian. he needs actual assurances, not just her hand over his mouth telling him to stop talking because she knows. she pushes out a huff of air, shifting back and forth with discomfort. ]
I told you we're not a couple. Too many people involved for that.
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[ He sighs, feeling some of that same adrenaline coursing through his veins, uncertain what to do now. ] Thank you. Both of you.
I'll shut up now.
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[ Because Bodhi tends to talk too much too fast when he's nervous and he doesn't want to be the only one babbling away. ]
I like — what you have to say. I mean, you thought it all through, really, which i never would've.
[ As demonstrated by his initial idiocy. He breathes a long breath through his nose, eyes flicking idly to cassian's mouth, and then back to Jyn, and then away again, a smile slowly breaking over his expression. It's a little too pleased with itself. Jyn should probably thump him. ]
Anyway, now that that's all sorted, you have to catch us up. What was the mission? How'd it all go?
[ So no shutting up for Cassian, but maybe a little less feelings everywhere, you're welcome Jyn Erso. ]
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[ He sighs, gestures at the air. ] There were mines.
But we got whatever it was they wanted so badly.
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You've faced worse odds, I'm not surprised. [ they got the plans for the death star, after all, and somehow, miraculously, transmitted them. admittedly, someone else saw to the actual destruction of the death star, but still. they did that. of course any team cassian was on was going to achieve their objective.
she's not biased.
but it's then that she notices again that he's not in the best shape and she allows herself to focus on it, using her grip on his arm to steer him toward a one of the ship's seats. ] You look like shit. Tell him he looks like shit, Bodhi.
[ he might not listen to jyn but bodhi is a pure, opalescent treeshark. ]
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[ Which is a very tactful and delicate way of ganging up on him. Because Cassian looks like he's been through the wars, but also he's too objectively pretty to look like shit under any circumstance. ]
Perhaps you should rest.
[ Doctoring isn't his strongest skill set. ]
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[ When all three of them are tired and he feels like he can actually get some sleep.
He does, however, sit and look up at the two of them. If he smiles, it's because he's fond, and a little happy perhaps.
Perhaps. ]
What did you guys do while I was gone?
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Nothing.
[ liar liar, she suspects mr can't even tell cassian he looks like shit is going to spill the beans anyway so she doesn't feel bad about lying for all of three seconds, though she does wince a little as he flexes his hand. she should apologize. ]
Thank you for listening to me. [ her father had told bodhi to be brave and here was jyn telling cassian the exact opposite. she idly wonders how her parents would feel about that. ]
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Nothing apart from all the research we did.
[ Which is somewhere between agreeing with Jyn and being a blabbermouth, since he isn't explicitly mentioning the planet but he also isn't being all cagey and weird. Why would they ever lie to each other, is the way he sees it, aware that the other two have lacked the luxury of trust for a long time. ]
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Did you have fun?
[ Were they safe, that's the real question. ]
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We collected dirt and sand, it wasn't especially stimulating, no. [ with a crinkle of her nose, she turns to find the first aid kit because she's not going to tell cassian to go to the medbay, but he does look like crap. ]
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I probably have a concussion, [ he admits. ]
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Maybe next time open with that.
[ it's easy to fall into the familiarity of patching up cassian, even if they've never done this before together -- jyn's had plenty of practice from the partisans -- they move with ease around each other. she knows that you're meant to keep someone with a concussion awake, but there's nothing saying you can't do it in bed so when all of cassian's injuries are taken can of, she drags them both to bed, playing with cassian's hair while she and bodhi actually tell him about their research. it's boring, but it works well enough. ]