Everything you want and everything you don't (open)

[thisisourfuture]

WHO: Hajime Hinata thisisourfuture and various others.
WHERE: Around Bajikan
WHEN: March catch-all.
WHAT: Two idiots have a conversation about serious matters (Komaeda), attempts to dig up information (Invidia), poking at this supposedly 'bettering' place (Superbia). And whatever else is to be added here later.
WARNINGS: Dangan ronpa 2 spoilers to be had in castmate threads. Uh, stuff to be added after that.



Closed to despairing_hope That talk he just doesn't want to have.

[There's so many people and most of them aren't human. That's really new so he tries not to think about it as he makes his way through the arrival area. It doesn't take him too terribly long to find Komaeda. Even in this crowd the sight of him is unmistakable.

Hinata isn't sure he wants to do this. But if he doesn't he'll never really know if he was right...will he? He joins Komaeda after a few moments.]

You're alive. Everyone is. I don't hate you because I understand why you did it. I don't agree with what you did. But I understand that much.

A: Invidia is just another name for not finding shit.

This is a bad idea. [He mutters to no one in particular as he stands just inside the district. After he'd heard what effect this one has on people he hadn't wanted to step inside. But if he wants to know anything at all, he has to check what places he can.

He scrubs at his face and with a sigh, starts down the street. He makes for an internet cafe and is relieved it isn't going to cost much if anything to sit and have a look. The only sites available are all...

He leans back, his frown growing more and more pronounced as an ugly, familiar feeling curls in his stomach. He abruptly shoves the chair back as he gets up and without giving all that much of a care, makes for the exit.]

Wait. There's nothing to find here, [He says to whoever is in the doorway. Hinata glances back at the surroundings, feeling that envious he can't settle or find any form of sanctification in what would have been perfectly fine for people his own age.] But maybe there's something in district. I only checked here.

B: Superbi- I have no witty jokes for this one.

[By now he knows better than to stay in a district too long. No matter how nostalgic a feeling is. This planet is about getting people to spend money. Every want or need is catered. It's tempting. Far too tempting. Still, out of curiosity. And only that, has he ventured into Superbia.

It's about what he expects and he walks slowly through past barber shops and tanning salons. He'd thought that maybe they would be a little more extreme. At some point he realizes that he isn't all that bothered about himself right now. He feels better than he has in some time. Maybe it wouldn't be all that bad to stay here a while.

So by the time he finds the slightly more extreme things, it's not that bad either. So people want to be better, big deal. It's not like they're going to become monsters, right?]

They're still them. That's fine, right?

Comments

[thisisourfuture]

We all helped destroy the world. Any kind of atonement has to be from all of us or none. Maybe it is selfish. But that's what we all decided when we shut down the program.

[They had to atone. One way or another. When they all woke up.]

Is it really that much of a problem, Komaeda? You won't be alone.

[despairing_hope]

That's more of a problem than if I were.

[The decision they made. He never was in control of his own life, was he?]


It's not the easy.

[thisisourfuture]

It isn't. [The anger drains away leaving him exhausted. His usual tones are a bit duller. Hinata shuts his eyes.] I know I'm asking a lot.

If you need time to think about it, that's okay. I just know what I want to do and I don't want to do it without everyone else. Including you. [It doesn't really matter here, does it? But if he didn't try to reach him...]

Even if you decide something else that's fine.

[despairing_hope]

What if I decided to give up...?

[But before he can get an actual answer to that he laughs dismissing it.]

I don't mind following you Hinata kun, if you really would want that sort of thing. I would have imagined you more angry and not wanting that though.

[thisisourfuture]

[He opens his mouth to reply and closes it without a sound.] I am angry.

You got Nanami killed. You tried to kill us. You killed yourself! [But. They are all murderers and monsters. He looks down at his own hands, closing them.]

We all did terrible things. But we can change. I believe everyone can! You said you won't do it again and I believe you. It won't be easy but then this path I'm choosing isn't either.

[despairing_hope]

[That confuses him. He understand the first two, but the third one? The confusion is actually visible on his face even.]

Why are you angry about myself? That shouldn't matter to anyone, it's even something that would be considered an ultimate positive effect.

Cw: self harm and discussion of suicide

[thisisourfuture]

[He jerks his head up and finally he knows how to feel.] How the hell is that positive?! You tortured and killed yourself!

[His hands ball into fists at his sides again.] I didn't want you to die. it mattered. Don't...don't do that again. I catch you trying it and I'll stop you!

Re: Cw: self harm and discussion of suicide

[despairing_hope]

But....

[He can't finish what he's saying though, he just can't find the words to explain what he wants. Instead he bites at his lip, feeling conflicting emotions. Why was he being punished?]

That's unfair Hinata kun....

Cw: self harm and discussion of suicide

[thisisourfuture]

[He blinks, sadness and confusion warring for dominance. He doesn't know what else to do.] ...how is it unfair? Are you...

[Do you want to die that much is what he can't find it in him to say.]

Cw: self harm and discussion of suicide

[despairing_hope]

Hinata kun, if something caused nothing but misery for those around it, it would be normal to remove it so the everything else would be safe, right? It wouldn't be fair to force the situation to continue, it would be cruel to everyone.

[And it wasn't like his luck was going to change any time soon.]

Also, another question. If an end was inevitable no matter what, would you rather a slow painful decline, or an end when you choose? If you had to choose between being yourself and being a stranger, which would you want to be?

Cw: self harm and discussion of suicide

[thisisourfuture]

[He looks away. His chest feels tight. He had faced this question before. But it was different for him.] I chose to keep going. I trusted whatever happened I'd find a way with everyone else and choose to live as Hinata Hajime.

[He says, his voice even quieter.] The Fleet brought Nidai back from the edge of death...maybe.

[Maybe they could save Komaeda but that meant trusting them. He ducks his head.] You didn't just cause misery. We made it as far as we did with your help. You're difficult. Fussy. I don't always understand you.

[More like all the time.] ...I, I don't know the answer. I just don't see your death as any kind of solution to anything.

Cw: self harm and discussion of suicide

[despairing_hope]

With time you might change your mind. With time you might regret your choice.

[Because everything eventually ended up that way... would it be a few years? Or next week. No one could say.]

I hope the worst case scenario doesn't end up happening.

[thisisourfuture]

With time isn't right now. Let's focus the present. Alright?

[They can still change the present. He has to trust in that. He will trust in it.]

[despairing_hope]

Then what do you propose for now?

[thisisourfuture]

Let's keep in mind what's going on now. We can deal with whatever is going on with this fleet and these anomalies. We can also keep an eye out for any kind of planet with a medical facility. Technology here is rather advanced. More than back home.

[At least...maybe they could delay it. If not help turn aside the death that might come. He doesn't know what else to do.]

We don't know if there is a way back... [...it feels unfair. He doesn't want to talk about the potential that he will be erased when they wake up back home.]

Is that alright for now?

[despairing_hope]

That's acceptable for now.

[He paused a moment to give a break between their conversation and his new question.]

And for the now of right this moment?

[thisisourfuture]

See what this planet is about. There's bound to be something useful here. They're stopping here for parts to repair the ship with. [He has a few things he needs to get. As much as he'd rather not, a weapon is on that list.

...but not right now.] Best time to start being prepared.

[despairing_hope]

I heard this place can provide anything you might need, so it's definitely a good place to get prepared at!

[It was always important to be prepared, and he also needed to this kind of things he would need now and the sort of journey ahead.]

We should see where are the popular places to go and hang out.