Hajime Hinata (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thisisourfuture) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
starlogs2017-03-12 01:31 am
thisisourfuture) wrote in starlogs2017-03-12 01:31 am
Everything you want and everything you don't (open)
WHO: Hajime Hinata thisisourfuture and various others.
WHERE: Around Bajikan
WHEN: March catch-all.
WHAT: Two idiots have a conversation about serious matters (Komaeda), attempts to dig up information (Invidia), poking at this supposedly 'bettering' place (Superbia). And whatever else is to be added here later.
WARNINGS: Dangan ronpa 2 spoilers to be had in castmate threads. Uh, stuff to be added after that.
Closed todespairing_hope That talk he just doesn't want to have.
[There's so many people and most of them aren't human. That's really new so he tries not to think about it as he makes his way through the arrival area. It doesn't take him too terribly long to find Komaeda. Even in this crowd the sight of him is unmistakable.
Hinata isn't sure he wants to do this. But if he doesn't he'll never really know if he was right...will he? He joins Komaeda after a few moments.]
You're alive. Everyone is. I don't hate you because I understand why you did it. I don't agree with what you did. But I understand that much.
A: Invidia is just another name for not finding shit.
This is a bad idea. [He mutters to no one in particular as he stands just inside the district. After he'd heard what effect this one has on people he hadn't wanted to step inside. But if he wants to know anything at all, he has to check what places he can.
He scrubs at his face and with a sigh, starts down the street. He makes for an internet cafe and is relieved it isn't going to cost much if anything to sit and have a look. The only sites available are all...
He leans back, his frown growing more and more pronounced as an ugly, familiar feeling curls in his stomach. He abruptly shoves the chair back as he gets up and without giving all that much of a care, makes for the exit.]
Wait. There's nothing to find here, [He says to whoever is in the doorway. Hinata glances back at the surroundings, feeling that envious he can't settle or find any form of sanctification in what would have been perfectly fine for people his own age.] But maybe there's something in district. I only checked here.
B: Superbi- I have no witty jokes for this one.
[By now he knows better than to stay in a district too long. No matter how nostalgic a feeling is. This planet is about getting people to spend money. Every want or need is catered. It's tempting. Far too tempting. Still, out of curiosity. And only that, has he ventured into Superbia.
It's about what he expects and he walks slowly through past barber shops and tanning salons. He'd thought that maybe they would be a little more extreme. At some point he realizes that he isn't all that bothered about himself right now. He feels better than he has in some time. Maybe it wouldn't be all that bad to stay here a while.
So by the time he finds the slightly more extreme things, it's not that bad either. So people want to be better, big deal. It's not like they're going to become monsters, right?]
They're still them. That's fine, right?
thisisourfuture and various others. WHERE: Around Bajikan
WHEN: March catch-all.
WHAT: Two idiots have a conversation about serious matters (Komaeda), attempts to dig up information (Invidia), poking at this supposedly 'bettering' place (Superbia). And whatever else is to be added here later.
WARNINGS: Dangan ronpa 2 spoilers to be had in castmate threads. Uh, stuff to be added after that.
Closed to
despairing_hope That talk he just doesn't want to have.[There's so many people and most of them aren't human. That's really new so he tries not to think about it as he makes his way through the arrival area. It doesn't take him too terribly long to find Komaeda. Even in this crowd the sight of him is unmistakable.
Hinata isn't sure he wants to do this. But if he doesn't he'll never really know if he was right...will he? He joins Komaeda after a few moments.]
You're alive. Everyone is. I don't hate you because I understand why you did it. I don't agree with what you did. But I understand that much.
A: Invidia is just another name for not finding shit.
This is a bad idea. [He mutters to no one in particular as he stands just inside the district. After he'd heard what effect this one has on people he hadn't wanted to step inside. But if he wants to know anything at all, he has to check what places he can.
He scrubs at his face and with a sigh, starts down the street. He makes for an internet cafe and is relieved it isn't going to cost much if anything to sit and have a look. The only sites available are all...
He leans back, his frown growing more and more pronounced as an ugly, familiar feeling curls in his stomach. He abruptly shoves the chair back as he gets up and without giving all that much of a care, makes for the exit.]
Wait. There's nothing to find here, [He says to whoever is in the doorway. Hinata glances back at the surroundings, feeling that envious he can't settle or find any form of sanctification in what would have been perfectly fine for people his own age.] But maybe there's something in district. I only checked here.
B: Superbi- I have no witty jokes for this one.
[By now he knows better than to stay in a district too long. No matter how nostalgic a feeling is. This planet is about getting people to spend money. Every want or need is catered. It's tempting. Far too tempting. Still, out of curiosity. And only that, has he ventured into Superbia.
It's about what he expects and he walks slowly through past barber shops and tanning salons. He'd thought that maybe they would be a little more extreme. At some point he realizes that he isn't all that bothered about himself right now. He feels better than he has in some time. Maybe it wouldn't be all that bad to stay here a while.
So by the time he finds the slightly more extreme things, it's not that bad either. So people want to be better, big deal. It's not like they're going to become monsters, right?]
They're still them. That's fine, right?
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His hands curl into fists at his sides. There just is no escaping is there?]
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[And maybe more? Who knows!]
I'm a bit curious though, how are there two? She thinks there's an alternate universe... but something is bothering me. The differences.... I don't think that's it.
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It would be bad to stop talking. Besides...Komaeda would go looking anyway.]
I don't think that's it either. ...I don't know what happened to her. But in those two years something occurred and the Nanami we spent time with in the simulation was created.
[He's scared to find out. Had he? No. He doesn't want to even think that. He wouldn't!] I don't want her knowing about the murder game or Kamukura. Especially him.
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[He was focusing on that, everything else was getting pushed to the side for the moment.]
What do you mean created?
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He's still angry. Even if he understands it all. Finally, his eyes on the crowds he says, quietly.]
She couldn't give herself up as the traitor. It was against her programming. Even in the trial she couldn't.
She asked me to prove it to everyone else.
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[Suddenly everything made perfect sense. The traitor couldn't say anything because they were programmed not to. Another Nanami who acted slightly different, and some of the things Nanami had said, and the way she had acted.
This was wonderful news!]
Ah! How wonderful! To think that was the answer. It would be fitting for the traitor to be like that. It also answers the other question to a point. But then... what happened to her? Perhaps she was too pure to follow everyone else? That seems reasonable for now.
Why does the other one not know this? Or does she? This explains a lot of things, an alternate reality is ridiculous. And maybe, maybe we can learn about the good things from before!
[He wanted to know more about this time when he was supposedly happy and with everyone....]
The more that's put together the clearer the answer will become. Hiding things like this and keeping it piecemeal won't achieve anything.
Surely the trials have taught that much?
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Taught...us?
[He can't follow the logic. How could Komaeda be so happy about this? He'd caused a lot of pain and suffering. Nanami had to go through an execution. They had all nearly died.
He can't decide on what to feel. None of his emotions seem to fit. Rage? Sorrow? Despair? He can't decide.]
...how could you...?
[He slices the air with one hand, turning his face away.] No.
I don't care what you think the trials taught us. Don't tell her about the killing life or Kamukura. I'm asking you not to. She's been through enough. We've been through enough!
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Does she know about Nanami san though?
[Shouldn't she know that the other girl is a program if she didn't already?]
I think that sort of thing is important. Because I feel we are part of one big class.
Well... I guess without you. But that's fine.
What's important is that it's understood that we are all who we are.
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We're all in this together! Whether you believe that or not, that's your choice. But it isn't our business to interfere between our Nanamis. They'll sort themselves out.
[What else is there to say? He should walk away now but, that would leave Komaeda alone. He stuffs his hands into his pockets as he adds,]
Thank you for not antagonizing anyone too much. It's going to be hard enough for all of us to work together.
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[Though that's sort of what he just said!?]
And why would I antagonize people? Hinata kun, I feel you have a severe misunderstanding of my character. Though, I understand my actions may have given you the wrong impression, I am not someone to simply pick fights for the sake of it.
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But it wouldn't be picking fights for the sake of it. I thought you'd do it to get information.
[It stands to reason. He'd goaded them before to get them to go where he wanted them to go. Like a puppet master and that is an image he could do without. Thanks brain.]
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[If he felt like antagonizing anyone it was Hinata right now. He hadn't even been here for very long, alive again... for very long. He felt like he was being attacked!]
I don't know what you expect from me, I'm only going to do so much at a time. Maybe I need a little bit before doing anything? I don't know how you feel about things, but it's a bit tiring to be suddenly here when you expected to be done with things.
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[His eyes slide away from Komaeda's. Exhaustion is written all over his face. He had expected to be done with the murder, the lies, and the lack of anything solid to grasp.]
I just want it all to be done. We lived. I want all of us to keep living. [All of them. At least he now knows Komaeda will only kill when there's a purpose to it. And not, perhaps. Them.] I'm sorry if I wore you down. I had to be sure of a few things.
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[He couldn't help but sigh deeply. Why did he want them all? It felt like a pain.]
What if your desires are selfish and are just making problems for others?
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[They had to atone. One way or another. When they all woke up.]
Is it really that much of a problem, Komaeda? You won't be alone.
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[The decision they made. He never was in control of his own life, was he?]
It's not the easy.
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If you need time to think about it, that's okay. I just know what I want to do and I don't want to do it without everyone else. Including you. [It doesn't really matter here, does it? But if he didn't try to reach him...]
Even if you decide something else that's fine.
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[But before he can get an actual answer to that he laughs dismissing it.]
I don't mind following you Hinata kun, if you really would want that sort of thing. I would have imagined you more angry and not wanting that though.
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You got Nanami killed. You tried to kill us. You killed yourself! [But. They are all murderers and monsters. He looks down at his own hands, closing them.]
We all did terrible things. But we can change. I believe everyone can! You said you won't do it again and I believe you. It won't be easy but then this path I'm choosing isn't either.
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Why are you angry about myself? That shouldn't matter to anyone, it's even something that would be considered an ultimate positive effect.
Cw: self harm and discussion of suicide
[His hands ball into fists at his sides again.] I didn't want you to die. it mattered. Don't...don't do that again. I catch you trying it and I'll stop you!
Re: Cw: self harm and discussion of suicide
[He can't finish what he's saying though, he just can't find the words to explain what he wants. Instead he bites at his lip, feeling conflicting emotions. Why was he being punished?]
That's unfair Hinata kun....
Cw: self harm and discussion of suicide
[Do you want to die that much is what he can't find it in him to say.]
Cw: self harm and discussion of suicide
[And it wasn't like his luck was going to change any time soon.]
Also, another question. If an end was inevitable no matter what, would you rather a slow painful decline, or an end when you choose? If you had to choose between being yourself and being a stranger, which would you want to be?
Cw: self harm and discussion of suicide
[He says, his voice even quieter.] The Fleet brought Nidai back from the edge of death...maybe.
[Maybe they could save Komaeda but that meant trusting them. He ducks his head.] You didn't just cause misery. We made it as far as we did with your help. You're difficult. Fussy. I don't always understand you.
[More like all the time.] ...I, I don't know the answer. I just don't see your death as any kind of solution to anything.
Cw: self harm and discussion of suicide
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