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WHO: Reim and Zelos, incapable morons
WHERE: Oros
WHEN: well i guess it's feb 3 but we're here now
WHAT: the Gamma mission with a cave to yell at
WARNINGS: hair care is at an all time low

[There's something to be said for wanting to go see alien planets and do research despite having zero self-preservation skills. It's probably not a very nice thing, necessarily, but if given the chance there's no way Reim is going to sit in the ship and wait for other people to come back and share their experiences on the ground. So, since the chance has been given... here he is. On an alien planet. It should be the most exciting thing to ever happen to him in his life. He's been saying as much for several days, since they managed to get this assignment. He's been unbearable in his enthusiasm, but mercifully he's subjected most of it to Zelos, considering they're doing it together.

But it turns out that alien planets are just kind of hot and unpleasant, and the uniform is too tight under his jacket, and his company hasn't stopped complaining about the damage being done to his skin and hair since they touched ground. Alien planets, as it so happens, are much more riveting when left to the imagination.

He'll try to be impressed, anyway, while he treks around in a miserable desert climate following a dull beeping device. There's sand on his glasses. There has been sand on his glasses for six hours. He no longer sees the point of trying to clean them. Hell is empty, and the alien devils are here.

Now, where is his whiny companion.] I've heard that excessive complaints cause hair loss.

[great conversation, best friends]

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Maybe you're doing it wrong. Here, hand it over.

[He holds out his hand expectantly, as if his hands alone are blessed with Knowledge of Technology.]

[Uh. Hmm. Reim looks at him, squints, and holds the device out further in the opposite direction.

No!!] It's my responsibility.

[He called it...]

What? [Zelos looks annoyed at that, leaning closer to try and grab for it.]

We're partners! Come on, don't you trust me? We're supposed to work together!

[No, it's his!! He's taller, he's keeping this!]

Yes, and you nearly killed us on the way down here, so I'm holding on to our only source of—of unintelligible beeping.

[Well he kind of lost steam at the end there, but the point stands.]

Oh, come on, you're still going on about that? I did one loop! And I landed perfectly!

[He is full on grabbing at Reim's arm, GIVE IT TO HIM.] It hasn't changed for hours!

[No!!!! He's physically pushing Zelos' helmeted face away with his other hand now, stop this.]

You shouldn't have done any loops! Imagine my surprise when we were suddenly careening out of control through the air! I didn't know where to put myself.

[There was yelling. It was terrible. Also Zelos still can't have this beeper.]

We weren't careening out of control! It was a sweet move performed by the one and only Zelos Wilder, professional transport spaceship driver!

[That's not at all true, and not at all what those pods were called, and Zelos is pressing against all of this pushing, wiggling his fingers for the device. They're going to fall over at this rate.]

[If Reim winds up on the ground and sand gets into his suit, he swears, he's going to cut Zelos' hair off in the middle of the night. Or at least write him a sternly worded note.]

Was I traveling with a different Zelos Wilder, then? I don't think you have a professional bone in your body!

[And with that friendly shout, this is the part where they fall over. Reim drops the beeping device, which rolls once over itself to sit face down in the dirt.

Then, it beeps a little differently than before. Fascinating.]

Whoa—!

[He topples over on top of Reim, grunting at the impact and about to yell some more when the device makes a noticeably lower, longer beep, and continues like that. Zelos pauses, barely pushing himself up (but not off of Reim yet, sorry) to stare at it.]

Hey, it sounds different! [Helpful.]

[This is just enough time for Reim to imagine in cinematic quality that they've toppled over into sentient sand that will now consume them and itch for weeks. His glasses will scratch. The filters in his helmet will never recover.

But here in reality, Zelos is still on top of him. Reim tries to stare upside down at the device, but that's not working. This is humiliating...]

Please get off of me.

Sorry, sorry.

[Is he, though. He rolls off of Reim, pushing himself to his feet and dusting himself off. Rather than looking at the device, he glances around.] Maybe it means we're close? We have no idea what we're even looking for.

[Saved from the sentient sand nightmare, Reim sits up and reaches for the device. It's still beeping like this...]

Somewhere to bury this, for some helpfully unknown reason. [That's starting to sound a little more questionable than not, but they are here, so they probably should do it...? Reim brushes off the front of the device and frowns at it.

He looks up at Zelos, since he's still sitting here, too dismayed by falling to get up yet.] Do you think you can find this spot on the, er, "map"?

[how do you use a map of an uncharted area, he's too old for this]

Let's see...

[This is definitely a super sketchy mission, but as long as they get paid and get a look at what's going on on this planet, it seems okay for now. He reaches into his pocket for this map, unfolding it and taking a look. It takes him a few minutes, but eventually he's pointing down at it.]

Here, look at it for a sec. I think the big mountain range we've been walking along is on the map right here, but it keeps going past where they've recorded. And we saw something on the other side that kinda looked like this rock thing, right? So that means we're probably about... right here.

There's gotta be somewhere we can dump it. Maybe closer to the mountains? You know, since it's less flat and out in the open.

[While Zelos stares at the map, Reim finally gets to his feet to come around and look at it with him. They'll have to fill the rest of this in, and soon...]

Let's get closer, then. I don't understand the point of all this, but if I have to listen to this device beep at us any longer...

[Anyway, let's go before he breaks it in half over his knee.]

[Zelos snickers at that, waving for Reim to follow him as he heads towards the mountains. It's probably going to be a while more of walking, where they can chart the area more and more. Zelos probably hands the map over to Reim at some point, leaving the actual filling in to him, but helping with instructions on where to put stuff if he needs it.

It's probably right about when they should be thinking about setting up camp that Zelos is crawling over some rocks and stumbles upon this cave. Literally. Some of the rocks give way and he tumbles through a crack and down some sandy, dirty slopes, into the entrance of this hidden cave.

His groan echoes from inside, so he's alive.]

[Reim doesn't mind being the map-filler at all, luckily, so this works out. He puts the weird device into whatever packs they're carrying so he can doodle on the map and keep walking at the same time, and it's only Zelos toppling to his slapstick demise that makes Reim look up from said map in time to not fall down after him.

Oh. Oh, dear. Once he realizes what's happened he hastily folds the map back up and shuffles over to the space where Zelos fell.]

Zelos? Complain once if you're alright, please! [In the meantime, Reim will try to find some way to get down these slopes without slipping and rolling all the way down himself, hmm...]

Any more to the left and I would have cracked my helmet. Who the hell put a cave here?

[That's loud enough to be heard in echoes up to Reim, so his stupid complaint should satisfy. Zelos pushes himself to sit up, bringing a head to his helmet to try and stabilize the way his head is spinning. He glances up once he hears some of the dirt sliding down, getting the hint that Reim is following him.]

Hey, be careful! It's a long way down, and it's dark down here. Wait a second, let me shine a light up or something...

[Ah, thanks for complaining. Reim would roll his eyes if he weren't relieved that Zelos didn't just suddenly die on him, so instead he calls down a simple thank you before he resumes his perilous trek down through this sand.

This is terrible... Every time he feels like he's going slow enough to stay upright he slips and slides a few feet at once.]

I'm afraid I don't have time to wait, so please, make sure you aren't standing anywhere I'm likely to fall—! [aaaaaaaaa]

Hey—!

[God damn it, can't this guy listen. Zelos has to step out of the way of Reim when he finally slips down to where he is, reaching over to grab for his arm before he slips down the next apparent dip in the cave. It's less steep, but still, he'd rather not see his only travel partner land on a bunch of rocks.]

You okay?

[Whoa, hello Zelos. Reim stumbles the rest of the way, managing to stay upright thanks to being grabbed. His other hand goes to Zelos' arm to steady himself, and it might be dark in here but there's just enough light coming down from above to show his face through his helmet: he's alright. If anything, he's a little too alright, after all that panic adrenaline...]

Isn't this exhilarating...! It's a bit cooler down here than it is on the surface.

[Sure hope nothing tries to eat them, that would put a damper on his renewed enthusiasm for exploring.]

[Zelos looks a little surprised by that reaction.]

You're excited about this? [What a weirdo... He glances down, further into the cave. There are shelves of hardened sand that allow them deeper into the cave before it flattens and presumably goes further. Releasing Reim's arm once he knows he's stable, he moves closer to the edge of the shelf they're on currently.]

I guess this is a pretty good place to bury that thing, right? If we go a little deeper... [Ugh, but he so does not want to do this.] Who knows how much of the ground here is stable. I'm gonna go first, so stay behind me and follow a lot slower, okay?

[Look, they're sort of out of the heat and this is much more interesting than rocks and scary-looking plants. He didn't really get a good look at the ones outside the cave, but they looked just mysterious enough to avoid later.]

I'm perfectly capable of walking, Zelos. [Come on... follow a lot slower?? They've already both fallen over like fools today, they're even, what could go wrong? Reim shuffles over to give him an encouraging pat on the shoulder. This is a perfectly safe cave, maybe.] I'll be right behind you.

Fine, but if you fall and eat it, don't say I didn't warn you.

[He says this as if he wouldn't rush to help him. What a loser, pretending he doesn't care... He's even bothered by how calm Reim is being, rather nervous himself, but hides it and looks down further. Alright... So, he climbs down and carefully along the edges of the wall, dropping down to the next little shelf and checking to see how Reim is following. He figures hopping around wouldn't be safe on unstable ground anyway.

So, he'll continue like this until they finally make it to the flat part of the cave, considerably cooler (but still not cold, unfortunately) than the air on the surface.]

Man, that is sooo dark... Are we really gonna head in there?

[Reim won't panic until they're falling to their inevitable deaths or something tries to attack them, so... since this cave seems empty except for them so far, he's doing alright. And he's newly excited to do their mind-numbingly simple task now that they've found somewhere to bury this beeping device.

He follows Zelos, mimicking the way he follows along the wall because he can't see shit the further they get into this cave. Zelos' eyesight is surprisingly impressive...

Mercifully, he does not bump into Zelos when they get to the flat part, but he does peer over his shoulder at. The darkness. Hmm.]

Would you rather climb all the way back up with nothing to show for it? We ought to at least, er... [lamely:] look around.

Oh sure, you'd say that. You know, pretty boys always die first.

[He is at RISK. But alright, he'll stop being a baby and sigh, bringing up one of his palms.] But we'd better have some light. I'm going to use some magic that's kind of like fire, but it won't react with the environment.

[You know, just in case Reim might worry about explosions.] Uh, but we should probably stick close even still, just in case. [He can hear things moving, he swears.]

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