starlogs | ( closed ) sometimes your best isn't good enough

Oros had hardly seemed like the most welcoming place when they'd been down there earlier, but still, this was... something else.

From behind the shuttle's window, Jim watched as explosions went off all over the surface, larger and larger the closer they got. The only reason it didn't leave Jim frozen with fear was because he'd seen his fair share of horrific scenarios, and had been a lot more helpless in a good number of them.

Not that it made him feel any better this time around, honestly. He still felt pretty helpless, but if he could at least save a few lives, it was more than worth the risk of flying down there.

"Find me a spot to land," he told Bones, sitting next to him. He didn't specify 'safe' because, well... there was no such thing as safe right now. But he figured Bones would know how to pick the best place, and close enough to any group of Trilk and Fek.

Looking over his shoulder briefly, he kept the shuttle steady as they approached the surface. "You doing alright back there?" Jim didn't even know the guy who'd joined them, but he knew not everyone back at the Eluvio had experience with this sort of situation, so it didn't hurt to ask. Couldn't well handle him panicking and doing something really stupid.

Upon return, he didn’t expect the catastrophic chain of events that followed. Hell, he thought they’d be done with the planet and be on their merry way. Too bad that wasn’t the case. When they set up evacuation shuttles for the inhabitants of Oros, he didn’t even have to think about what he was doing. He knew he was going, because Jim being who he was would go. And damn it, if he knew he’d follow the blonde down to an exploding planet.

On the descent to the planet, his mind was already calculating radiation exposure and fighting back the thoughts of the last time Jim was irradiated and died on him. But he said nothing. His brow simply furrowed and his lips pressed into a tight line of concentration. Without thinking about it, he started to go over the control panels and geographical map to find a location to land on command. He hated flying, but he knew how it all worked. He took the damn classes to be an officer and because that made him more useful.

And right now he just wanted to save those creatures that didn’t deserve this shit because the Eluvio had to go and meddle in their lives. “Setting up the coordinates. Not gonna have a long window before the area becomes saturated with radiation. Better move fast.” He turned his head a little, avoiding looking at Jim when all he could think about was the guy dying before and simply looked at their companion quickly. “Keep an eye on your own radiation exposure as well.”

Jughead didn’t sign up to help on Oros before the whole planet-wide disaster thing started happening. It’s not like it was hard to justify, either. He’s not qualified to lead stealth teams or do botanical research or shoot hostile aliens that aren’t made of pixels! He’s not even qualified to shoot the ones made of pixels, come to think of it. There’s a reason the bulk of his gaming collection is medieval fantasy adventures. But then the rescue thing got announced, asking for crews, and the voice of his stupid great dumb selfless friend started playing on loop in his brain. Save the aliens, Juggie! Make a difference! If you don’t, I’ll know, and I’ll haunt you forever with one million petitions. Where other people have consciences, Jughead has the disembodied essence of Betty Cooper.

So here he is, third wheeling along in a rescue mission with two guys who are at least one hundred thousand percent more competent than he is. And they seem to know each other, which is cool— he’d be kind of bummed that other people apparently showed up on the Eluvio with friends from home, except that their teamwork skills are probably going to keep him from dying horribly. Which he’s doing his absolute best to pretend isn’t at the very front of his mind during the descent to the planet. Jughead has an image, and Jughead plays it cool and detached.

Jughead’s about to say something about how he’s fine, thanks in response to Jim’s question— with an appropriate amount of sarcasm, obviously— when he stops to process the whole radiation thing. It’s the way Bones says it that throws him. Matter-of-fact, helpful, professional as hell. That rattles him a little bit. Just slightly.

“I’ll— I’ll keep an eye out for that radiation, yeah, thanks. That’s not how my origin story goes and I don’t feel like revising it,” he replies, with barely any snark at all. “How fast are we talking? This is my first planet death rodeo, I’m not ashamed to admit it.”

Jim hadn't even given much thought on who to bring along with them for the rescue mission. What mattered was that they needed someone willing to help, and he'd take just about anyone over the weird crew of the Eluvio— even a kid with no experience in space travel or planet missions of this kind.

Granted, he knows it's not ideal to have to constantly make sure a team member isn't going to screw up the whole thing by accident, but this is fairly straightforward. Get down to the planet, get some aliens into the shuttle, and get out of there. Provided those aliens cooperate. But considering the state of the planet, he figures that won't be all that hard.

"Long enough," he says before Bones gets a chance to delve in far too graphic details. Kid doesn't need to get the whole speech about how space is death and disease wrapped up in darkness and silence or whatever. "It'll be fine," he turns away from the console to offer Jughead a reassuring smile. "We'll know if it gets too dangerous and rush back to the shuttle, but it probably won't get to that. Bones is just being overly cautious, is all."

He ends that as he stares pointedly at Bones. You better agree with him and not make things worse.

Leonard's hands hover for a moment over the controls as the reality sets in. This guy doesn't know what's going on, or rather, hasn't done this kind of thing before. His jaw tightens in a fine line as he turned his head to look at Jim. And he knows damn well that Jim get's that expression of 'Damn it, Jim' the instant he gives it to him. It felt a little like that day he asked Chekov how old he was only to pretty much blame Jim for his being only seventeen.

Not that it was actually Jim's fault. But in his mind, Jim was in command, he should have warned him about this earlier. Not that it was fair. The doctor was just damn paranoid and hated draggin' people into this shit that had no business being there.

Finally looking back at the other guy, he paused and sighed. He wanted to go off about the importance of radiation protocol, but he got that look from Jim and he let it go for once. "Just don't go slow, got it, kid? And not that we got to do that whole introduction thing, but the name's McCoy. Dr. McCoy. Got a name you want to be called by?"

Hell. Maybe if he tried to not focus on the lack of knowledge, he could just... get this done and over with. Hopefully.

"Call me Jughead! But for the purposes of this exercise I'll also respond to hey you or basically any other word yelled loudly in my direction."

The reassurances are, Jughead's pretty sure, mostly hollow. But it's reassuring that they're trying to be reassuring, and Jughead shifts slightly in his seat before looking back up at the two men steering the shuttle. Ship. Thing.

"Nice to meet you, gotta ask-- are you a medical doctor or is Bones an ironic nickname?" He shrugs, pointedly avoiding looking out that front window. He'll deal with reality in a few minutes when they land, and not a second before. "No judgment either way! All doctors are great."

Just, you know. Some are greater than others in situations like this.

Jim chuckles faintly, clearly a lot more at ease with the whole situation than Jughead is. Not that he's that big of a fan of seeing a whole planet burning up, but he's definitely used to this kind of risky mission. It's pretty much his life, after all.

"Right, Jughead. Good to know." Though Jughead's a pretty funny name, so he'll probably stick to that.

"Bones is... somewhere between an inside joke and a term of endearment. Kind of our thing." Which Jim isn't going to explain because no one else besides Jim really calls him Bones and that's how he wants to keep it.

Jughead. Well, that was interesting. Not that he'd not heard those kinds of nicknames back home, it just seemed so odd out here in space. Yeah, pot meet kettle. But he didn't give himself the nickname Jim stuck him with. Rolling his eyes slightly at Jim's answer, he turned his attention to Jughead and offered a small almost smile. "Nice t'meet ya." He prided himself on his old fashioned mannerisms and he wasn't about to stop now.

Returning his attention to the controls, he still answered the other's question regardless. "Medical doctor and surgeon." He gave the answer precisely before snorting a little. "More like his thing. He's the only one that calls me that." And he really didn't want to talk about why Jim called him that. Because he'd rolled the thoughts over in his head before... and well, some things just needed to be left alone. Jim liked assigning nicknames, his just happened to pretty much replace his real name.

Granted, it was kind of adorable that Jim liked being the only one to call him that. "Jim, looks like we're coming up on that area we were in before. Might find our friends that tried to give you a concussion earlier. Mind that hard head of yours and don't go and get hit again if you don't mind."

Jughead shrugs. No skin off his nose, though he briefly wonders what good it does anyone to have a nickname for limited use. Is this what life is like, for the people without horrendously embarrassing first names? Amazing.

"Doctor McCoy, sure. Guess that makes you super qualified to lecture about radiation poisoning." And also soon to be the victim of at least one what's up, docs? Jughead turns to Jim after McCoy makes his request, bracing himself for the landing. He just sort of assumes it's going to be rough.

"These guys gave you a concussion? Was this a diplomatic screw up oooor--?" Or are they literally seconds away from rescuing really hostile jerks.

Bones still probably would call the reason behind the nickname somewhat embarrassing, Jim on the other hand liked that it was something just between the two of them. Not that he was so childish as to get petty or jealous over it, but still.

He huffed in amusement at the remark, shooting Jughead a lopsided grin. "Trust me, he's qualified to lecture people on far too many things." And he still lectured them on things he was not in fact qualified to lecture about. Never stopped him before.

When Bones mentioned his earlier incident with the Trilks, Jim had to stop himself from letting out a groan as he closed his eyes so he wouldn't just roll them. It shouldn't surprise him the doctor would just keep bringing up Bad Things that Should Not Be Mentioned in front of a kid who might be on the verge of panicking in the middle of a dangerous mission, and yet it did.

"Nothing like that. We found a wounded youngling. He was caught in a trap and pretty scared, lashed out when we tried to get close and help him," he paused a moment, then added. "Actually, I got too close. I should've been more careful. But I'm fine, and we did help him out in the end."

As they came up on the area, Jim slowed down the engines, activating the landing gear and smoothly lowering the ship onto the ground. "Alright, sensors say we should have about... twelve minutes before we have to be back in the shuttle. Sixteen at best." Unbuckling his seatbelt and turning to Jughead, he nodded for him to grab his helmet. "The suit will let you know if there's any danger for you before then. Stick close to me and I'll get you back in here before anything happens, though. Got it?"

At Jim's remark, he sent him a mild glare. Where he was prone to giving the 'lectures' as he put it, he did it cause he cared. Not that Jim got that through his damn skull and paid it any mind. Damn brat that he could be, always gettin' hurt and the like. Still, he said nothing and let Jim deal with the kid.

He knew he was a little too blunt and outspoken to be calmin' Jughead down. He could do it in surgery, but they were currently flying. Into radiation. To save hostile aliens. He was just damn peachy about it all. Not that he planned to say anything. For the kid's sake as well as Jim's.

"Do as he says, kid. Jim's good at this sort of thing." He said it mildly with that hint of 'don't argue' all at the same time. Looking back at Jim, he gave him a very stern look, but bit his tongue. Finally he settled on a simple, "Be careful, alright?" At least try, is what his eyes said after that before setting up the computer to let them go out.

"If you get injured, that's what I'm here for."

"Got it." Time really is relative-- twelve minutes sounds like nothing right now. But if he's worried about following behind a guy who got injured picking up a lost kid, essentially, Jughead doesn't show it. He nods at Jim, grabbing the helmet and double checking that he's got everything he needs to survive and save some aliens. Mostly survive. Then McCoy gets a quick grin.

"I'm gonna remember that. Broken legs, paper cuts, injured pride-- you're the guy. The pact is sealed! There's no escape." If he makes it out of this, at least he'll be able to say he found a GP all on his own.

After a few minutes he takes position near Jim, not quite hovering because that's annoying as hell no matter what the circumstances, but in perfect follow the leader stance.

"Okay, so-- grab aliens, don't die, back in twelve-ish minutes. Easy!" Not easy. Whatever, they're doing this. "Ready to follow like a well-meaning duck in a space suit whenever you say so."

Hey, it was a really big kid, alright. You try going toe to toe against something as large as a baby elephant, yet stronger and more aggressive than one. Also with really big... average-sized teeth and claws. Yep, okay, for the best that Jim's not saying any of that out loud. And lucky him that Bones didn't either.

"Not sure about injured pride," Jim huffs in amusement. Bones likely would just smack him (figuratively) and tell him to get the hell over it, what are you, an overgrown child. Although that can often be what people with a serious case of injured pride need to hear, so. Might just work out fine.

Putting on his helmet, he seals it shut and makes sure everything with the suit is in order, glancing at the two of them, especially Jughead so he knows he's put it on properly. Nodding, he grins far too confidently at the kid. "Yeah! Easy. You'll see."

He's gone through far more dangerous missions and far worse odds than this, so all in all, he's feeling pretty good about their chances. Hitting the controls to open the door, he steps outside slowly, greeted immediately by the sight of complete wreck and destruction, the ground shaking underneath their feet, dust clouding the air around them. It's not going to be easy finding anything in this mess, but Jim's determined to try, so he turns on the flashlights on his helmet. If he can't find any Trilks or Feks, he can hope they'll see the lights and find them instead.

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legendary_hands - 2017-02-25 02:37 (UTC) - Expand

Okay, so, as far as missions were concerned, it wasn't the worst outcome. Jim still felt like they hadn't done nearly enough, but considering the whole situation, he was just relieved they'd managed to at least save some lives.

Relieved, but not exactly happy. Even the Trilk and Fek now on board, despite being glad they were alive, had lost the majority of the people they knew, not to mention their home, their own planet, everything they'd ever known, and found themselves now relying on the strangers who had after all enabled the very destruction of their world.

So no, he wasn't happy. And he knew he should feel good about having helped, but it just didn't feel like it was good enough.

In the face of all that, a minor cut across his forehead and a few bruises were hardly something that bothered him much. Bones seemed to be fussing over the whole thing a lot more than he was, especially considering it had been the very same young Trilk who had attacked him during their earlier mission that had lashed out now. Jim didn't regret saving its life, though, not even one bit.

"Told you, Bones, I'm fine," he grumbled as Bones led him towards the Eluvio's sickbay, since it was closest than going back to the Enterprise. Despite his claim, he winced a little at a faint ache near the edge of his ribs, and the constant throbbing in his head thanks to the gash and the concussion.

The entire scenario pissed him off. From the fact they destroyed an entire planet’s ecosystem to the fact Jim had to go and get hurt. Again. Even if the injuries weren’t life threatening, he hated it. And to add on to that issue, they had to use the main medical bay because of proximity and not being able to wait to get to the Enterprise with things he knew and not have to glare down every medical officer that got near Jim.

The reasonings were likely thin, but he knew Jim. Knew his allergies, knew his idiotic attempts to play everything off, and he knew himself. The idea of anyone else treating him was unacceptable. So he took tools away from the crew and went to work himself. And where he usually didn’t mind getting into Jim’s space, the push into the personal bubble was purely protective this time as he scowled at anyone that came closer.

After orienting himself to the tools, he cleaned up the open wounds, checked for radiation, then closed it up. He would have to get to his own equipment to fully address the bruises, but for now, he was lightly sliding his fingers into Jim’s hair searching out bumps or points of impact for causing him to have a concussion. His brow furrowed sharply before his eyes locked on Jim’s. “You always say that.”

And he was not buying it this time. Not right now.

Letting out a soft sigh, he relaxed the barest amount before letting his fingertips trail to the back of Jim’s head. “You know, you may be a genius, but keep gettin’ hit in the head like this and you’re bound to lose all those brain cells you’re so damn proud of.” And for the bite in his voice, his hands stayed soft, tender even.

It's not like he did it on purpose, alright. And he did have to help the young Trilk, especially considering how close to panicking it had been. Jim had to do something, even if it meant getting sucker punched in the process, or having his forehead cut open by one of its sharp claws. A bit of danger came with the job, sometimes, and Jim never signed up for less.

Though he winced a little as Bones cleaned the wound, he didn't so much as whine or complain, staying still while Bones took care of him, showing some vague amusement at the way he practically growled at any of the staff that got too close to them. Not that Jim could blame him, honestly, but really, if anyone on this ship wanted to hurt or kill him, they'd had ample opportunity so far.

"Because it's true," he said pointedly, though he felt himself relax more and more the longer Bones's fingers sifted through his hair and looked for bumps and cuts along his scalp. A small exhale even turned into a soft sigh as he closed his eyes. "Oh, shut up," he mumbled, his tone warm and fond despite the words. "Guess we'll find out sooner or later, hm?"

Stilling his hands, they were framing the line of Jim's jaw, the tips pressed softly to the base of his skull as a brow arched at him. "Even little things can be bad, alright?" He glared mildly at Jim as he let out a soft sigh. "I don't know how radiation will affect you now, and I don't have some miracle drug to fix you again if it goes wrong." He pointed it out roughly, but his voice was still soft.

He didn't like talking about it. Didn't like bringing it up either. But he wanted Jim to know why he was a wreck about this situation. Sliding his hands away, he pulled out his own kit and pulled out the pain killer and loaded it up into the hypospray. "I'll regenerate the damage from the contusions later when we get back to the ship."

Curling his hand softly around one side of Jim's neck, he gave him a pointed look. "Scientific proof. Every time you hit your head, you lose brain cells. Better keep that in mind cause that hard head o'yours won't save you every time." And maybe it was cause he was just thankful Jim didn't glow with radiation, but he was damn careful when he pressed the hypo to the other side of Jim's neck opposite the hand that cradled his head.

"Stop that," Jim said abruptly, feeling his words bubble up his throat along with the bitter taste of bile at the memory Bones had brought up. Gaze lifting briefly, he shook his head as he let out a sigh. "Just... stop that. I'm fine. Trust me, I'd know if I'd been affected."

He remembered how it felt. Maybe smaller doses of radiation would've affected him differently, but he'd still notice. Besides, the suit he'd been wearing during the rescue mission came from the Enterprise, and it would've warned him if any lethal dose of radiation had gotten through at any point.

"So you say..." he mumbled, trailing off as he tipped his head to the side, wincing just barely at the sting of the hypospray, even if Bones was especially gentle this time around. His gaze flickered to the doctor as he straightened his head again. "Are you feeling alright?"

Edited 2017-02-07 14:29 (UTC)

His hands went still at the command to stop it. He narrowed his eyes down somewhere bouts Jim’s chest before pulling back just a step. Disassembling the hypo, he carefully put it away into his kit. He didn’t look at the blonde a moment, just simply put his life back in order with each medical tool that went into its place. Finally, he looked back up at Jim and placed his hands on either side of the young captain with a carefully neutral but irritated look.

“Just dandy. Why do you ask?” Even he knew that sounded like a load of bull shit, but he really didn’t care right about now. Instead, he leaned back, letting Jim have space as he collected his kit and tricorder as he prepared to leave. “Anyway, the painkiller is just a small one. Take the edge off. So you shouldn’t get tired or nothin’.”

Talkin’ about care and treatment was easier. It kept him from thinking about the very issue Jim told him to shut up about. So. He did. He turned off any talk of it and stood out of the way. “Till I get those bruises healed, don’t go doing anything strenuous. Need sleep too. I know you’re not gettin’ enough right now.”

There. Bones was pulling that crap again. That thing where he acted like he was just fine, like his issues weren't nearly as important as taking care of everyone else. Jim knew the guy was a doctor above all else, but damn if it didn't frustrate him sometimes, seeing the good doctor bottle everything up like he had no right to lean on other people.

Especially Jim. Made him feel helpless as well as incredibly selfish or insensitive, like he didn't care about Bones enough to care about his problems. But he didn't say anything. Again. He bit back the words and swallowed them down, eyes dropping to the floor as he practically felt Bones pulling away from him.

"Neither are you," he answered softly. His voice dropped to an even lower murmur, gaze not lifting even as he went on to speak again. "Don't leave. Please."

He started to take another step back, but something about the way Jim lowered his eyes made him stop. Breathing in slowly, he let out a low sigh. "Yeah well, guess sleeping conditions have been a little rough on us." He spoke the words equally soft before he stopped at the last request.

His brow furrowed just a little before he dared to reach out and softly slide his hand over Jim elbow before slipping down his forearm lightly. When he spoke this time, he leaned in closer so only Jim could hear him as he let their foreheads touch just barely. "Jim... listen good. I will never leave you. Not willingly."

After a moment, he let his hand coil just a little around Jim's as he let his eyes search out Jim's quietly for a moment. "You're damn near stuck with me. Guess till you tell me to go." Cause he would never force Jim to tolerate him if he really wanted him to go. But that was neither here nor there.

"Only because you insist on taking the couch," Jim hummed with a trace of amusement, even if it was kind of endearing how Bones had taken up the couch in his quarters and had claimed it as his own bed. Still wasn't all that good for his back, nor conductive to a good night's rest.

Not that Jim could talk much, because he had an actual bed and he still slept like crap, but still.

Shoulders eased as Bones's hand slid down his arm, a soft exhale spilling past his lips as he looked up, then closed his eyes again, nodding. His fingers curled into Bones's palm, and he let out a faint chuckle at his last few words, eyebrow raised just barely. "Then I guess I'm stuck with you forever." Because he wasn't going to tell Bones to go, not ever.

Sighing again, he tipped his head in, leaning close and turning it to the side so he could press his cheek to the doctor's chest. His free hand moved up to rest on his upper arm, almost a hug even if not quite.

"Thanks, Bones... Don't know what I'd do without you," though he couldn't say he liked anyone else being stuck here with him, he was relieved that he wasn't alone. "So lucky you're here with me."

"Hell will freeze over before I put you on the couch darlin'." He shook his head in amusement before squeezing his hand. "Tell you what.. been a while since the Academy, but if you think we'll sleep better both piled in bed, I don't mind it."

His brow furrowed slightly at that exhale, his gaze shifting to something curious as Jim seemed to gravitate closer to him. He could tell that something got under his skin and bothering him. Granted, that chuckle made him smile regardless. And well, hearing Jim say that made him smile just that little bit more. "Glad to know you want me around."

Breathing in slowly, he felt Jim's head press to his chest causing his heart to beat just a bit faster unexpectedly. The hand not in Jim's moved to slip into the hair at the back of his neck tenderly. It was a bit more brazen than usual, but he felt like he needed it right now. They both did.

"Dunno, Jim. Look like an over ripe apple that got tossed down the stairs?" Or not be alive at all. That idea was something he didn't want to consider. Sifting his fingers through Jim's hair, he let his chin rest on top of his head. "Won't lie, scared to death I won't see Jo again. But If I had to pick one person in this endless galaxy to be stranded with... no hesitation, it would always be you."

"I was just about to suggest that," he mumbled, eyes lifting and eyebrows raising just so. "My bed's big enough for the both of us. And I swear I'm not a kicker." So Bones wouldn't end up on the floor, at least, so there was that. On the other hand he might wake up with a random arm tossed over his waist or right across his face.

"Course I want you around, Bones. Thought that much was obvious, wasn't it?" Jim might not say it often but he was never one for that kind of sentimental stuff. Not that he was embarrassed to admit it, just that he figured Bones knew the things that really mattered. He knew Jim better than anyone, after all, and it wasn't like with Spock, who took things a little too literally and tended to be emotionally constipated... well, always.

"You and your ridiculous metaphors," he snorted, shaking his head. Better than saying 'dead', at least. He hummed softly at the touches to his hair, tensing slightly and opening his eyes again when Bones mentioned his daughter. "Guess I'm being a little selfish about this, aren't I? Sorry."

"Guess it's settled then. And if I lived through nights of you sleeping off being drunk, I can deal with you sober. I think. Unless there are things I need to know first." He wasn't serious. He gave up his personal space a long time ago in regards to Jim Kirk and he didn't miss it. Jim hovered in his personal bubble like he belonged there and as far as Leonard was concerned, he damn well did.

"Most of the time. But there are times I purposely threaten to maim you or sedate you and I'd think you were more insane if you didn't run. So I'd call it even." But then there we times he wanted to be close and he pulled away for the very reason that he wanted to stay there in Jim's space. Jim didn't need him latching on and making things more complicated. Cause god, his own feelings complicated his own life enough. Best not drag Jim down as well.

Snorting at the metaphor comment, he gently pulled Jim's hair before going back to carding through it softly. "Oh stop it. Don't be an idiot. Makes me damn glad to know you want me here." Even if he missed Jo, knowing Jim wanted him there made him feel like he could actually breathe. "I may not like my ex much, but I know she will take good care of our daughter. And I don't trust a damn soul in this galaxy to take as good of care of you as I do. So stuff it."

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» Bones

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