starlogs | Everything you want and everything you don't (open)

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Everything you want and everything you don't (open)

WHO: Hajime Hinata

thisisourfuture and various others.
WHERE: Around Bajikan
WHEN: March catch-all.
WHAT: Two idiots have a conversation about serious matters (Komaeda), attempts to dig up information (Invidia), poking at this supposedly 'bettering' place (Superbia). And whatever else is to be added here later.
WARNINGS: Dangan ronpa 2 spoilers to be had in castmate threads. Uh, stuff to be added after that.

Closed to despairing_hope That talk he just doesn't want to have.

[There's so many people and most of them aren't human. That's really new so he tries not to think about it as he makes his way through the arrival area. It doesn't take him too terribly long to find Komaeda. Even in this crowd the sight of him is unmistakable.

Hinata isn't sure he wants to do this. But if he doesn't he'll never really know if he was right...will he? He joins Komaeda after a few moments.]

You're alive. Everyone is. I don't hate you because I understand why you did it. I don't agree with what you did. But I understand that much.

A: Invidia is just another name for not finding shit.

This is a bad idea. [He mutters to no one in particular as he stands just inside the district. After he'd heard what effect this one has on people he hadn't wanted to step inside. But if he wants to know anything at all, he has to check what places he can.

He scrubs at his face and with a sigh, starts down the street. He makes for an internet cafe and is relieved it isn't going to cost much if anything to sit and have a look. The only sites available are all...

He leans back, his frown growing more and more pronounced as an ugly, familiar feeling curls in his stomach. He abruptly shoves the chair back as he gets up and without giving all that much of a care, makes for the exit.]

Wait. There's nothing to find here, [He says to whoever is in the doorway. Hinata glances back at the surroundings, feeling that envious he can't settle or find any form of sanctification in what would have been perfectly fine for people his own age.] But maybe there's something in district. I only checked here.

B: Superbi- I have no witty jokes for this one.

[By now he knows better than to stay in a district too long. No matter how nostalgic a feeling is. This planet is about getting people to spend money. Every want or need is catered. It's tempting. Far too tempting. Still, out of curiosity. And only that, has he ventured into Superbia.

It's about what he expects and he walks slowly through past barber shops and tanning salons. He'd thought that maybe they would be a little more extreme. At some point he realizes that he isn't all that bothered about himself right now. He feels better than he has in some time. Maybe it wouldn't be all that bad to stay here a while.

So by the time he finds the slightly more extreme things, it's not that bad either. So people want to be better, big deal. It's not like they're going to become monsters, right?]

They're still them. That's fine, right?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

What am I going to do...?

[What a strange question, but then, he didn't have an answer. It's not like he could just go back to the things he did before. He had no school to go to, no home to stay in. The thing he should do is just... stay separate. But, wasn't something like that a bit hard at this point?]

I don't really know... it doesn't really matter. I guess whatever they would want to do with a useless person like me?

You're not useless. [The problem is Komaeda is dangerous. He always has been even when life seemed to be alright. He takes a moment to choose his words with care.]

You're still one of us. If you promise not to keep trying to kill them. I think the others won't do anything to you. And...Nanami the one who talks at a normal pace, she doesn't know what we all did or became.

She won't abandon you either. [Not that he would ever ditch Komaeda. That would mean not knowing what he is doing. That's terrifying to consider.]

Hinata kun! Why would I try and kill anyone? That's just cruel to suggest such a thing.

[It even made him mad to hear it suggested! It may have been true that he had tried to take them all out, but it hadn't exactly been his ultimate goal. And once the situation was presented it was up to all of them to see if they were worthy or not. Why would he do anything after the matter had been decided? The fated path had been chosen and there wasn't much to add to that.

Though, at the same time if something came up where killing was the obvious solution he wouldn't be against it. But why go out of his way if there was no reason?]

You already tried. [He is rapidly losing control of this conversation. It had started in a place that makes sense but now he has no idea what to do next.]

Answer this. If the chance was presented again. Would you take it?

[Cruel? Komaeda of all people is complaining about cruelty? It makes him mad just looking at his face right now. He almost misses the important clue. Almost. He blinks.] You..wouldn't?

Why?

Who would enjoy the death of someone? Unless they were complete garbage.

[Why was this such an odd thing? And maybe his actions would have lead to people dying, and he was completely aware of that. But simply killing them had never been the primary goal.... He didn't understand at all!]

And you say I'm one of you, but maybe that's only your warped opinion? Maybe everyone else would be happy to if I wasn't here. Perhaps they were even relieved when I wasn't around anymore.

Ah, since I'm someone who would kill people given an opportunity it seems, maybe I should just be dealt with before anything bad can happen. That's probably the best outcome for all parties.

No! [The word is out before he can check with himself. Komaeda is right. He had a purpose when he tried to kill them and again at the very start. Hinata looks away.]

No. [Repeating the word isn't going to get them anywhere. He needs to think this over. In the trial Komaeda had goals and just now. He'd talked about their hopes too. He had went about this wrong. His fingers curl into fists and fall slack.]

I'm sorry. [He raises his head to study Komaeda's face.] ...I didn't get the full scope of your goal until now. And they won't either. People don't like it when someone tries to kill them. But that doesn't change that you're one of us. I'm not going to abandon you. Not before and not now.

What you've done isn't going to change any of that, either.

It doesn't matter if they do or not.

[One person able to understand was enough. But even if Hinata was insisting he didn't feel right being counted among then. Not because of what they did, after all he wasn't innocent either, but because he couldn't bring himself to think he belonged anywhere. Perhaps it was a bit delayed, or it was just complicated, definitely complicated, but his feelings were a mess he wasn't even sure what he wanted. He was dead not long ago, and then suddenly here! It was suppose to be an end!! A grand sacrifice for the betterment of the world! How do you wake up after that and just go about your day? It was too abrupt!]

And you shouldn't waste your effort on failed trash.

[They had overcome their trials, but he was still struggling.]

Ultimately it will only bring trouble.

Is that all? [He crosses his arms over his chest. It's true Komaeda will be trouble. But they're all trouble.]

I decide what effort is wasted or not. It's my decision.

[If he had how much would have been different? There's no telling right now. But that isn't important. The future is. Hinata studies his face one more time and glances around. The area is full of strange people. It feels so surreal.]

This is what I'm choosing to do. Because I want to. [That might not stall or avoid the 'why' but at least he got to say this much.]

I don't understand why you would want to.

[Was it okay to accept that? Would something happen if he accepted this much?]

But I'll accept what you want for now.

[Or at least until he had better arguments or proof that it was a foolish effort.]

I don't really feel like arguing anyway.

[Standing here with Hinata actually in front of him was draining.]

Good. [He slowly relaxes. One fight over with. For now. He could completely relax but that would exposing just how tired he really is. Not happening.]

Has anyone told you yet what has been happening on the fleet? Or what did, anyway.

[The orientation would only do so much and it's full of careful holes.]

Since I know you have looked back over the transcript of orientation at least once.

I heard of mysteries and murder, but haven't seen or heard any clues. But then, it's a bit hard to get everything done from the start.

[Honestly his first priority had been to get an idea of where things were, not to mention get his head around the fact that he had died rather brutally vary recently.]

You might expect a little much if you think I know everything already. But I'm interested in hearing what you know so far.

I'm not expecting that. I just didn't want to repeat anything you might have heard already. [Neither of them like to waste any time. He spreads his hands apart and starts from the beginning.]

This is what I know. Shortly after I got here there were a series of explosions. It took a few ships out and everything went dark. The power was out a few days, when it came back up.

That's when they started finding pieces of bodies. Each murder is a previously missing person. There's always part of the remains left out on display. The first had a bow of hair on one finger. The second, the heart was in a gold box.

Each time the display gets bolder. The last one was a head in a sack and the blood spilled everywhere after a blip in power turned the lights off and back on.

It showed up in such a sudden span of time?

[How creepy. But... that seemed odd.]

Was it a generic sack? that doesn't seem to match up the other two.

[Was this the right thing to focus on at the moment?]

Are there any intervals between reveals, is it a different part of a person each time or parts of the same person?

There are intervals. No more than a week passed between the four parts. They were all different people. ...I think the blood was the focus of the last one.

[Hinata feels sick just thinking about it. The last body he'd seen covered in blood had been Komaeda's. He winces and shakes his head.]

It's a different part of a different person. Medical only confirms their identities and won't tell us anymore than that. But they also have their hands full trying to keep the ship capable of supporting life. They came to this planet to get what they need for repairs.

A different part of a different person. And all people who have gone missing.

[So at least four people, showcasing different things. But what was the point? Was there a message?]

Where any of the four people known before hand? How long ago did they disappear?

[If people knew them before, it might be worth while to talk to those they were close to, to see if there was a connection between the four. If they vanished a long time ago perhaps something else was going on? If it was recent....

He needed more information, this was frustrating. He might have to wait until the ship was repaired to get proper answers and resources.]

[He holds up both of his hands. Komaeda isn't asking anything he hasn't already asked, but the angle of questions is enough to get him thinking about it all over again.]

They were all known by someone. According to other people, others have disappeared before. It was after the power outage that the missing turned up in pieces.

I don't yet have when they disappeared. I don't think we can get that kind of information until the repairs are made.

After the power outage....

[He pauses a moment and then slaps his fist into his palm.]

Maybe it's part of an experiment!

[He shakes his head. No. An experiment doesn't seem right.]

Or it has something to do with the last planetside mission. I'm still gathering the details about it. But, I'm trying to keep from being noticed while I ask about it. The way this fleet crew don't seem to give us much, even in orientation is bothering me.

Wouldn't that make the idea of an experiment all the more probable?

But tell me more about this last planet mission. How would it be related?

No, that's wrong. Why would they risk their own health over an experiment? [It doesn't make any sense. A ship is all that keeps people from the mercy of space. The suits aside anyway.]

Anyway, when they went planet side, as far as I know several things happened. I don't have any details beyond what sounds like they were instructed to plant a bomb. But the planet was pretty badly damaged.

They took on refugees fleeing the damage before they departed.

Lots of experiments have risked those making them. Or, perhaps the risk wasn't known and the feeling that it was contained was a given. An accident could have happened. Because to me it sounds like they were trying to do something and it went wrong. What if the power outage and those who had disappeared showing up in pieces are related. What if we are the experiment and whatever accident happened was simply that, an unfortunate accident that wasn't planned for.

[And why would they plant a bomb and take on people....?]

They took on refugees, of the planet they purposefully bombed?

That's what it seems like for now. I don't know yet. I'm still looking into the details. [He holds up both hands as if to ward off all the questions. He almost forgot what it was like when Komaeda started to investigate. It's like trying to hold back a flood.]

...I don't want to believe that they'd commit that kind of experiment without evidence. For now, I want to see where the clues lead. Quietly.

They're probably monitoring us anyway but I still don't want to draw too much attention. ....I don't know what they know about us.

[That brings him to the point he has never wanted to discuss. Except he has to know. His voice falters.]

Komaeda. Was... [The words don't come out. He shakes his head and tries again.] Kamukura. Was he in those files?

[He stops cold.]

Why do you ask?

[What exactly did Hinata know? Why did he know about that at all? Ah... was it the thing that happened later? So it had been ultimately pointless to try and hide anything in the end.]

That person doesn't matter.

[So obviously yes, there was something about him in those files.]

[He spots the contradiction there but...does Komaeda remember? Maybe he doesn't. Some small petty part of him feels a little better hearing Komaeda denouncing Kamkura.]

I'm curious how much information in the files matched with what we were told at the trial. ...It seems if even he was in there, then you know as much as we who participated in the trial do.

What were you told in the trial?

[Because just because they had similar information, didn't mean they both knew the same amount or had the same context. Knowing about Kamukura didn't mean details were also known.]

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dr2 and 3 spoilers again. Like those haven't stopped.

Really just spoilers from beginning to end.